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| I assume that there is a man flirting with me somewhere in this vision test, but I just can't see it. |
For years, I thought that no one had ever hit on me. Then I started thinking about this, and at the risk of sounding conceited (which I definitely am not), this seems improbable. I mean, it's a numbers game. I don't exactly know the formula, but it must be something like (disclaimer the following formula is entirely made up and does not reflect any actual scientific laws of dating. I mean let's face it, I'm not exactly an expert here):
(my age + the amount of men living in my area ÷ by the number of times I go outside of my house) ± some quantitative value for social expectations with a margin of error of some extraneous variable.
With this in mind, I started looking for it more. Which led me to the conclusion that I only attract weirdos. This could be flattering... except there was a brief period of time when I couldn't weed them out. This combination posed a serious dilemma for me. I was out in the world, unable to detect attractiveness, and super susceptible to compliments. Looking back, I was probably an easy target.
Luckily, I prevailed with only minor tales of awkward encounters. However, I hadn't really learned anything from any of these experiences. I still felt as though there were no viable dating options for me out in the world. I began to attribute this to a lack of interest on the part of most nice, attractive, age-appropriate men. As you can imagine, this has been a blow to my self-esteem (which I have precariously placed on a shelf midway up my psyche).
What usually happens when I get like this, is the logical side of my brain has a little pep talk with the histrionic side. It explains that there's no need to feel how I do. "I'm perfectly desirable," it says. Emotional Mindy doesn't care about this pep-talk. So they brawl, while I watch romantic comedies in my pajamas.
After the most recent brawl, I realized what's going on here. I have a social blindness with regards to flirting. I just don't know it's happening. So, it seems like I'm ignoring it, which sends all the wrong signals.
I'm still not entirely convinced that I get much attention from guys (or maybe just those that I find worthy) in the first place, but I'm willing to admit it probably happens more than I think it does. It just never goes anywhere because I don't acknowledge it.
People aren't much help either. No one is going to do what I need, which is for someone to explicitly tell me "I'm interested in you."
Come on people! I need some help here. I'm not likely to send the right signals, because I'll probably be assuming there's no need. I mean, I've been known to interpret prolonged eye contact as a sign that my makeup is smudged, and I get nervous at the end of things. This means I usually bail on a date before any socially typical closure has occurred, and I miss the signs that it's not necessary.
What's a maladroit to do? How do I over come this?
Am I the only person afflicted with this particular social blindness? Has anyone else had similar experiences?
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