Part of Her World

 My sister and I weren't really kids at the same time.  She was nine years old when I was born.  By the time I had grown enough to have memories of our time together, she was a teenager; stuck somewhere between childhood and the grown up world.

Early memories being what they are, I don't have many of her that are clear. There are images of dancing for her friends, and playing games in the car. But, mostly I have vague recollections of general wordless sentiments.  With my adult vocabulary, I can now label those feelings.  I thought she was glamorous. In my mind, she had status, and I wanted her approval. I remember exaggerating my cuteness to invoke reactions from her.  I remember watching her get ready for her day, and teaching me how to apply makeup.

Perhaps my favorite memory, was our sleepovers.  Every now and then, she'd invite me to spend the night in her room.  I'd bring my Little Mermaid sleeping bag, and we'd lay on the floor.  I don't remember if we talked much. With our age difference, we couldn't have had a lot to discuss. At least nothing of substance.  However, I do remember that she sang to me. We had one song in particular, that was our song.  She'd sing it to me, while I laid in the dark admiring my big sister.

Now that we're both adults, this song still makes me think of her.  It brings me back, and projects me ahead at the same time. I recall falling asleep to my big sister's singing, and I think it's so great that I'm finally a part of her world.