Kids Have it Made!

Location: Home
Mood: Amused

Have I ever told you about how and why I think little kids are the greatest? Really their lives rule, and I'm super jealous. Have you ever really thought about it?

Little kids can wear whatever they want, and it's adorable. Have you been to the zoo recently? You'll see kids there in all types of garments. It could be the middle of July, and a four year-old will be wearing a snow suit as overalls. I mean you'll feel bad because he's probably sweating up a storm, but it's so freaking cute you can't help but snicker. Also, kids can wear mismatched outfits whenever they please. They can wear capes out in public, and no one even bats an eye. Even better: they compliment them. Now, imagine 23 year old Me, going to the grocery store, in two different pairs of long socks, plaid shorts, a polka dotted shirt, with a cape around my shoulders, and a ten gallon hat. If you walked past me you would not smile and compliment my outfit. You would not come up to me and say, (with pride flowing out of you) "did you dress yourself this morning?" You would wonder what was wrong with me. You might hide your children, or clutch your purse a little tighter. You'd probably make fun of me behind my back.

Little kids can behave however they want. Now, most people hear this argument and disagree with me. I will modify it. Little kids are not supposed to behave in certain ways, but if (and when) they do, society excuses them anyway. How many times have you been out in public, and seen a little kid throw an absolute fit? It happens. It's not pleasant. No one likes it when they do, but they're little kids and we let it slide. They're still learning, we tell ourselves. I have had numerous days where things just did not go my way. Maybe I was tired, cranky, hungry, or all three. Maybe I was forced to go somewhere I didn't want to be, or maybe someone else was playing with something of mine. I admit it, it would feel great to scream and shout about it. Sometimes the perfect catharsis is crying and stamping your feet. However, being adults, we can't do that. The police might be called. You would be responsible for your actions. When a little kid throws a fit. People don't blame him. It's hard being a kid. They approach his/her parents and say "if you cannot get your child under control, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Sure, maybe the parents reprimand the child, but in the grand scheme of things they got away with it.

Little kids don't really have to walk anywhere if they don't want to. Go on a family hike. You can try to force your five year old to walk the whole thing, but if she whines enough, you'll pick her up. You'll probably actually enjoy carrying her around on your back. Anyone want to hike up a mountain with me on your back? Didn't think so.

I think the perfect age is four. You're old enough to start talking, but too young to understand the things you can't do. You don't miss out on bars and dating, because they aren't things your interested in. You can play with toys. You can be adorable. Everyone wants to talk to you, and they usually have nice things to say. There are really no responsibilities. You can wear a batman costume to school, and a princess dress to the post-office. You can cry when your mommy makes fish sticks for dinner, and you can twirl around the back yards of the world for hours without a care in the world.