Mood: Melancholy
I guess I'm having a day that most people would label as a typical Monday. I just feel really stupid today. However, I'm not entirely sure that "stupid" captures the enormity of how I feel.
It's like my brain is cloudy.
All day I was confronted with these situations that I should have been able to handle, but I struggled. With each and every situation...I struggled. It started almost right away too.
This morning I THOUGHT I was awake. Then I arrived at work, and two of my coworkers were go-go-go almost right off the bat. I was instantly overwhelmed. It wasn't that they were discussing anything too stressful, or something that I could not handle. It was that my brain simply could not keep up.
Then, the kids arrived, and my work day really began. Granted, these aren't normal kids, and that makes the work harder than average. However, it was as though I couldn't do a damn thing right. If a kid made a simple request of me, I would respond by staring at them for a couple of beats before I reacted. When a child began acting out in a way that required my immediate attention, I was able to physically respond, but I was unable to mentally respond. Throughout the entire day, I continued to make stupid mistakes. It was like my brain was soaking in molasses or something.
After the children left, I had a serious to-do list to to tackle, and all I could do was wander around helplessly. I was aware of the things that I needed to accomplish, but I couldn't make myself function successfully. On top of that, my day was riddeled with mental stutters, verbal slips, and a general lack of comprehension.
I just feel like I can't do anything right at this point. I guess that is probably not true. I'm sure that there is SOMETHING that I can do right. However, at this point I am not convinced.
Tomorrow I will have a sharper mind and faster reactions! I can't handle two days of feeling like I am inept.
