#ADDRESSINGchallenge

Everyone is impacted by power, privilege, and oppression to some degree. I believe that awareness of your areas of privilege helps you to realize ways in which you benefit from your various privileges as well as how you might help those who need a boost. In school, we had to complete the ADDRESSING Framework for ourselves. It's a helpful tool. I challenge you to complete it and share it to start a dialogue. At the bottom, feel free to add other ways in which you believe that your life is easier or harder when compared with those around you.  #ADDRESSINGchallenge

Age: I'm 31. I am privileged in that I am old enough to drink, vote, drive, and many other things. Though I lack the freedoms afforded to the youths due to the responsibilities of my age.
Development: (privilege) my intellectual and developmental are in line with my chronological age.
Disability: (privilege) I am able-bodied and in good health. I am able to enter buildings and use every day tools without requiring intervention. (Disadvantage) I am short and often need a stool or a helping hand. I also require prescriptive lenses and struggle with accurate depth perception. I take anti-depressants to combat anxiety.
Religion: (disadvantage) I am agnostic/atheist. I don't believe in a higher power or an after life. This is off-putting to many who would assume that I am a sinner or bad because of that.
Ethnicity: (privilege) I'm white. I had never been denied anything that I wanted because of my race. (Disadvantage) I have felt guilty or that people assumed the worst of me because of my appearance.
Socioeconomic status: (privilege) I'm middle class. I make a good wage and can always afford my bills plus the occasional splurge. I have almost no debt. (Disadvantage) I often worry about savings, and feel I need to save for the things I want.
Sexual orientation: (privileged) I a straight. I am attracted to the opposite gender, and have never worried that who I am attracted to will change how people see me or treat me.
Indigenous heritage: (disadvantage) I don't really know my heritage or the history of my family. I assume, because of my appearance and names that I am of European descent.
National Origin: (privilege) I live and am a legal citizen of the country in which I was born. I am afforded access to all the rights that go along with citizenship in the country I live.
Gender: I am a cisgender female. (Privilege) if you look at me my gender and pronouns are readily apparent. I do not get mistaken for a person of my gender. I am (relatively) comfortable in my body. I feel that it reflects who I believe myself to be. (Disadvantage) I have been denied access to things I want because I am a girl. I have had people call me hurtful names, cut me off, or treat me unfairly because I am a girl. I feel unsafe walking alone at night because of fear of attackers simply because of my appearance.
*I might add to this framework:
Political leanings: I am a democrat living in a liberal area of the country. I do not feel that my political leanings will be judged or disregarded. Though, I do have very closed loved ones who I interact with regularly who have starkly different political beliefs than I do.  I have to work hard to check my values and beliefs and balance them with my love for those peoples along with my honesty to myself.

ETA: I also carry privilege in that I feel safe enough to post something of this nature without overwhelming fear of backlash or detrimental judgement.

Road Rules

What the hell is the deal with drivers in intersections looking right and merely glancing left?!

You know what, I'm going to (ironically) be the bigger person here and forget for a moment that a whopping four of you almost killed me during my ride about town this afternoon in order to provide you with two pieces of wisdom.

NUMBER 1

In this culture, we are taught from a VERY young age (think infancy) to read things from left to right.  Keep in mind here, I'm saying read things, not books.  As soon as we are born, we begin looking around.  We may not immediately track anything specific but we see the way our caregivers do and we pick up on that. Guess what we begin to notice? They're tracking left to right. Since babies begin to mimic what they see it's no surprise that you developed this behavioral trait.  In fact, by three months, when you were visually tracking faces, situations, stimuli, and other things, you did it from... (dat dat dada) left to right. Then, when you were introduced to picture books, signs, and eventually  words, this left to right looking  thing was repeatedly reinforced.  So, what you're doing at intersections is counterintuitive.  It makes no sense, and you're likely putting in more effort to combat your habitualized pattern of scanning surroundings to engage in a potentially dangerous behavior. Which leads me to my second point.

NUMBER 2

Unless you're  a brand new driver, this should be common sense, but just for the sake of your own edification I'm going to remind you of something rather crucial. Brace yourselves. Are you ready for it?

K.  Here it is:

The oncoming traffic closest to you is coming from your left side!

While you're peering past the empty passenger seat of your likely over-sized death wagon, you are completely missing that "jackass" who is about to come "out of nowhere" to t-bone you.  This is the thing that baffles me the most.  You'd think you're own inherent sense of self-preservation would protect you from missing this, but it appears it doesn't. 

Alright.  I'll quit ranting now, but before I go, do us all a favor, and start to think about what you're doing behind the wheel.  You might just save a life.

Tabulation of Terror

Fears are a normal part of growing up. We all had those panic inducing phobias that sent us crying for our mommies and daddies.  For many of us it was the monsters under the bed and in the closet. For others it was the ghost in the wall that sounded a lot like your big brother. Whatever they were, they made grown-ups giggle and smirk as they assured us that the world was not as ghastly as we thought.  Though we doubted adult assertions of safety, we eventually overcame these terrifying beliefs. One by one those monsters got smaller, and eventually moved out of our rooms...except when they didn't. 

Here's a list of irrational fears I have that carried over from my childhood.

Mirrors in the dark
Don't act like you don't understand this one. We all played Bloody Mary, and it was terrifying. Problem is, I took it to the extreme. In my mind, that chick wasn't waiting around for the triple utterance of her name, she was just going to appear Hogwarts-style, any old time she felt like it. Still might! That thought freaks me out to this day. Seriously, I may be the only adult woman in the country who, when faced with entering a dark bathroom, will close her eyes and blindly grope along the wall until I hear the light switch click. I'm just not ready to die that way y'all.

Toilets - Pardon the pun, but this shit is scary 

Just like everyone else, I spent the first few years of life not having to deal with my own crap. It was glorious. I simply did my business and someone always cleaned it up. Then suddenly that was over, and I was forced to suspend myself over a cold bowl full of water that roared when I was done. Sure, that could have been the sound of a flush, but it was probably more likely a flesh-eating monster angry about his missed meal. Maybe that sounds crazy, but consider all those stories about rabies-infested rats living in the sewers, climbing up pipes, and biting people on the butt. Now you want me to yank my pants down and sit on that thing?! Suddenly, constipation doesn't sound so bad does it?

Don't trust that smile.

Ernest P. Worrell
Some said his idiocy was amusing, but, I see who he really is. This mastermind unleashed an army of child-stealing trolls on helpless townsfolk! So, of course he petrified me. The trolls looked like the thing I imagined devouring me from within the toilet after I escaped Blood Mary's resurrection. Though my friends loved him, I would leave the minute anyone even mentioned this unnerving simpleton. As with any avoided fear, I never really got over it. Even still, the mere thought of him makes my spine curl. I mean, look at him. He's petrifying!




Rats/Mice
In my youth, a friend forced me to hold Speedy, her pet rat. I stood stupefied as his beady eyes pierced mine. His tiny razor claws scratched my sweaty palms. Then, he deliberately whacked my arm with his thorny worm-like tail. Naturally, I screamed and released my grasp. I had to protect myself from such a vicious threat. Oddly, my friend didn't understand my reaction to this onslaught, and she spent the rest of the day berating me for it. Ever since, I've been convinced that all rats are demon-spawn. I still make Homeric expeditions around pet stories to avoid the rodent section. Go ahead and say this is irrational if you want, but I say you're irrational. They crawl out of toilets and chomp peoples' junk for god's sake! That's clearly evidence of their evil. 

Satisfying Sentiments

Due in part to the popularity of my recent list, and also because my biggest fan said it was petty "ranting," I have decided to produce another, more positive inventory. What follows is a few things that make me feel awesome.

Perfect parallel parking
There's nothing like the euphoria that comes from violently yanking the e-brake and shouting "boom! Nailed it!" This is an incredibly difficult task. Add to that my legitimate depth perception deficit, and it's damn near impossible. I never have any idea where the curb is, and I'm nearly always convinced that I will hit the cars I'm trying to fit between. So, when I don't it's incredibly gratifying. Even better is the bolstered sense of self-worth that develops after I realize my car is not stationed in the middle of the road. Way to go me!

Arriving on the MAX platform just as it is pulling in
Extra points if it's the kind with the upstairs section at the ends. Some may call this dumb luck. Others may think it's coincidental timing. That's just stupid. I genuinely believe this is proof that I rock at life.

Finding out that I can cut out 2 (or more) pages of my reading assignments
Haha! In your face Professor Overly-Ambitious! Here you were expecting to torture me with a 13 page article on the effects of interpersonal perception on introductory conversations between social dyads, but you don't even realize that it's really only 11 pages when you cut out the references. But, wait...WHAT'S THIS?! A FULL PAGE CHART IN THE MIDDLE! I am officially the luckiest person in the world!

Finishing an essay on the very last line of the maximum page limit
Uhh...yeah, I totally meant to do that. Behold all the glory that is me and my ability to plan thoughts down to the exact number of centimeters on an 8.5x11 word document. I'm pretty much the most excellent student that ever graced the halls of your establishment...except when I'm not...IRRELEVANT! This is not one of those times! Obviously. I just owned your sadistic page limits!

My guilty pleasure songs come on the car radio 
HOLD UP! It's time to close the windows. I'm about to have a moment because it is pretty clear that those boys from One Direction are singing directly to my soul. I mean, it's obvious that I have a spiritual connection with my radio, and as far as I'm concerned there's no better self-care than the perfect Careoke (TM) session. This fortunate experience has a number of positive correlates. Sometimes it's the self-righteous sense of closure that I derive from belting a little Adele and Gotye. Other times it's the reaffirmation of my fun-loving attitude that results from a comedic rendition of Fatbottom Girls. Either way, I'm convinced each one of these moments contains a special message from the the music gods and it is meant only for me.

Unexpected Free Cookies
This is what happens whenever I walk into a room and hone in on a surprising platter of sweet baked biscuits: Leaving one eye trained on the tray to ensure it's not going anywhere, I cautiously approach someone I have a relationship with. Forgetting all social greeting norms, I whisper out of the corner of my mouth "um...what's the deal with the cookies?" When I get confirmation that those puppies are indeed up for grabs, I loudly celebrate my discovery and declare that day to be the greatest day of my life. What happens next is always a bit of a blur. It may or may not involve some kind of elfin dance as I quickly migrate to the location of my heart's greatest desire. Then, with a mouthful of deliciousness, I'll come back to reality. Oh, What was that friend? Were you still talking to me? I couldn't hear you over all the chewing. Also, why are you on the ground? I trampled over you in my triumphant dash to the tart table?! Whoopsie. Well, you understand. COOKIES!

Say What?

Just for fun, here's a list of things people say that irritate the bejezus out if me.

"EX-pecially"
     The word is spelled E-S-P-E-C-I-A-L-L-Y. Figure it out.

Preempting an inquiry with the phrase "I have a question."
     It's just unnecessary. Everyone knows you have a question because either a) its a didactic setting and you've indicated your intent through use of the culturally normative arm raise or b) YOU'RE ASKING A QUESTION! Stop wasting everyone's time being ridiculous and get to the friggin' point already.

Misuse of the word "literally"
     Oh really? You were so scared that you literally pissed your pants? How embarrassing for you.
     Did your brain actually fall out of your head and roll away? No? Then you didn't literally lose your mind.
     Here's a trick: Mentally picture a scenario in which what you just said actually happens. Does it seem implausible or absurd? Then you probably meant to say figuratively. If you can't figure it out, then just don't say that part of it. See, watch how I do it: "Dude, I was so scared." Notice how I didn't add the gross image at the end? Lock it up.

"And such as/what not/so forth...you know?"
     Um... no. I don't. Do you? Because you haven't really said a damn thing. So much of what you just said was comprised of filler that it was entirely devoid of substance and actual meaning. You lost me at your first incomplete sentence when you just assumed it was clear where you were going. Then you followed it up with about eight more of those beauties. Now, I'm not even sure what the original topic was. My head hurts, and I want you to shut up, but you're not going to until I indicate that I do in fact know. So now I'm nodding. Stop making me nod.

"I don't believe in that"
     Listen, I understand that you're a vegan, but what do you mean you don't believe in eating animal products?  It's a thing. People actually do this. Also, what are you getting at when you say you don't believe in Alcoholics Anonymous? You know it exists right? Like, it's really out there. How can you not believe in something that's real and accessible? You must be trying to say that you don't support it, or that you don't agree with it. Unless, of course you're completely out of touch with reality. If that's the case, there's more going on here than your views on social justice. You should probably see a doctor. Unless...maybe you don't believe in them either.  I guess you could consult something less mythological, perhaps a sorcerer?

"I was gonna say..."
     Yeah, no you weren't, because you didn't. Maybe you intend to say it now? I'm not even really sure.
     What exactly is the point in this phrase? It's past tense, indicating you have not said it. However, it also seems to imply that you have changed your mind and decided not to say whatever it was. And yet, it's nearly always followed by the thing you supposedly elected not to share. Here's an idea, quit putzing around with all that needless build up and JUST SAY IT ALREADY!