I had an interview today in Salem at the Oregon State Hospital....It didn’t go so great.
I showed up 45 minutes early, and was going to hangout in my car preparing for it. However, I'd had three glasses of water and a soda. I had to pee, and badly. I debated going in that early, but finally settled on driving around to find somewhere else to go.
When I had killed enough time, I decided to go in. The parking lot was behind the building so I had to walk around an entire building. Then I had to ring a doorbell to get let in. After ringing the doorbell, the receptionist just hollered “Come In!” When I signed in she called the woman I needed to meet with. She didn’t answer.
The receptionist than told me, “Maureen is in the middle of something, she’ll be about ten minutes. Feel free to have a seat and wait.” So, I parked it. I pulled out my note pad, and was going to brainstorm some intelligent questions to ask. However, Maureen was there within ten seconds. She took me to a room, and handed me the questions that the panel would be asking me. This is how social services interviews are run. They ask you to show up 15 minutes early, and give you the questions. You can then think about them and develop thoughtful responses. Maureen told me that if I needed her she would be in the room next door.
I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t so hilarious, or awful, just yet. Well, hold on.
I’m reviewing the questions, and the first one is to describe my experience in the mental health field. I have none. So, I’m thinking, “this will be fine.” What they normally do is ask you the questions verbatim. So, I was thinking that they’d ask me and I’d be able to relate to them more personally. Then there were a few questions that involved inside terms. This is terminology that means nothing to me because I don’t work here. I have no idea what “person center plans” or “evidence-based structure as it relates to peer support” are. But I’m thinking, “this is fine, we’ll come to that question, they’ll ask it and I’ll play off their response. I will tell them I’m not sure what they mean, and it’ll be okay.”
While I’m working on these questions, and attempting to calm myself. Something really awkward happened. The woman in the room next door, Maureen, got a phone call. Apparently, the walls there are paper thin. Her conversation seemed fine. She was perfectly polite, and perky. Then the call ended. She hung up the phone, and said (to herself presumably) “fucking stuck up bitch!” Afterward she continued to grumble to herself. There were no other voices. She was definitely talking to herself, and some of the stuff she was saying was not quite right. Along the same lines as the post-call conversation. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable.
A short while later a weirdly dressed woman came in to get me for my interview. She was dressed in a colorful outfit that can only be described as something a high school drama or middle school art teacher might wear (excessively flowy, and with ample color and decals). She walked me across the hall to an office that looked like the inside of a Native American teepee. Standing at the table were two old men. One looked like he might be a college professor, and the other one was...a cowboy.
THERE WAS AN HONEST TO GOD, OLD MAN, COWBOY THERE!! He had the whole cowboy hat and tight jeans deal get-up. He was wearing a vest with a bunch of pockets all over it. This dude had a bushy beard, and all kinds of things going on. I was completely confused.
I shook all of their hands, but was really confused (by the cowboy) and uncomfortable (because of the woman with tourettes across the hall). When the men shook my hand they said their “Hi Melinda, I’m ___” to which I responded, both times, “Hi, I’m Melinda” as if they didn’t already know my name.
They pulled out my chair for me. When I stood in front of the chair to sit down, they pushed it in, and my foot got hooked around it. So, I got stuck, and went through the interview in an uncomfortable position.
I knew nothing about Oregon State Hospital. When they asked, I requested a brief explanation. They gave it to me. Apparently, at the Salem location, the VAST majority of their patients are either those who “have been deemed not competent to stand trial” or those who have successfully plead the insanity defense. Needless to say, I began the interview completely off guard.
Then they told me that they would like me to run the whole interview myself. I could read the questions out loud, or not, as long as I just let them know which question I was on. Um...what??! I was counting on them reading the questions. This threw me off.
So, I stumbled through it. I asked them what some of the terminology meant, but these people skated around the questions and never really told me what they meant. Also, anytime I showed any humanity, I got NO RESPONSE! I would joke a little, and not get even the slightest smirk. They were entirely stone faced!
To make matters worse, in the middle of my interview, the cowboy’s phone went off. It was set on vibrate, but that did not make it any less noticeable. It was one of those LOUD vibrating things. It was really distracting, especially because he seemed to have forgotten which vest pocket he put it in. He fidgeted around in it for nearly two minutes! I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Originally, I smiled at him in an “oh haha” kind of way, but (as was their style) I got no reaction from him.
At the end of the interview they asked if I had any questions. I have learned that you don’t want to leave without asking some well thought out questions. So, I asked about how they would go about training a person with little to no experience. The old man gave me a very vague and uninformative answer, and then the woman chimed in. She told me about a program at another branch, where you can get experience, and they pay for you to get your Certified Nursing Assistant License. My CNA?! When did I ever express an interest in going in that direction? And, doesn’t it seem like a step back from my bachelor’s degree? Especially when you consider that I don’t want to go into the medical field.
Throughout this whole interview I was screaming inside my own head. I really just wanted to politely excuse myself, and run screaming down the hall! When we were finally done they said “well thank you for coming in and interviewing with us.” Then, they all just sat there at the table. So, I stood up, and asked “should I just walk out the same way I came in.” They then asked me if I came in through the front door...There was only one way in! I had to ring the doorbell.
Finally, I got out of there, and made it out to my car. On my way out of the parking lot I noticed a truck. I thought it was waiting for my spot, but then I saw the truck again as I exited the parking lot. THE COWBOY WAS DRIVING THE TRUCK!! He was behind me all the way out to the freeway!
It wasn't just awkward and uncomfortable! It was a train wreck!
So, can I ask just one question?:
Why the hell was there a Cowboy?!
Okay, two questions actually:
At this place, is it a normal thing to have a coworker mutter obscenities as they work alone?
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