The Usher in my Mind

I've always been somewhat of an enigma. I'm overly rational and incredibly emotional at the same time. It's common for me to find myself torn between two completely opposing psychological responses. I've always been aware of this.

I recall a conversation, when I was about 12 years old, in which I described how my mind works. I likened it to an old fashion movie theater in town. This theater only has one auditorium, and it is huge. It has an upper section of seats (the size of a small modern theater), and a larger lower section that would rival the size of most theaters. I went on to explain that being inside my mind was like being an employee at this theater when there are only two patrons. 

One of the patrons sits in the very front row and is completely run by her emotions. She's exuberant and garrulous. This young woman is irrational, and doesn't seem to realize she's in a movie theater. She honestly believes that, if she cares enough, she can change what happens on that screen. For this reason, she's screaming at the bad guys, jumping out of her seat when the good guys do well, and she cannot contain her anxiety when the music becomes ominous. This young woman has all kinds of ideas of what needs to be done, and she's sharing them all at the top of her lungs. She seems to think she's the only one in the room, and that she has control over whether or not the heroine goes up those stairs.

The other patron sits in the very back of this theater, and cannot stand that twit in the front row. The person at the back knows it's just a movie, no one can hear the cheering and advice from the audience. She can't understand why anyone would even think this was possible, there's no evidence supporting that theory. She just wants to sit back and watch the show. She knows that it's not necessary to get all worked up, because in the end that's all it is: a show. Emotional responses aren't going to change anything, and there is ultimately no control over the final result. This movie will end how it's going to end no matter what she does about it. She's logical to a fault.

Working this shift can be rather difficult. The customers are completely different, and it's damn near impossible to please them both at the same time. It's a complicated job, but that's what I've been tasked with.