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Because of the continuous nature of change, people have a tendency to be looking forward. We've got our eyes peeled for the next shift in our circumstances. We are continually planning our responses to an endless array of future scenarios.
Those who dislike change are no different. They seem to cling to the past as they fixate on how things used to be and struggle to accept that their previous lives will never fully return. In reality, they are like everyone else with their eyes focused on the horizon; still waiting for the next change to come even if it's simply to restore the life they had grown fond of.
These forward thinking tendencies are adaptable traits. They enable us to prepare for the future and adjust quickly when it arrives. Our future-oriented minds jump immediately to solutions, requirements, and necessary actions. They help us take care of what needs to get done. Although, all this focus on what will come, and how to respond results in some neglect.
Perhaps the most forgotten aspect of change is the grief component. We so rarely remember that change, whether exciting or dreadful, requires loss. In this constantly changing world, we have adapted to quickly move past our losses and adjust to the shifts of life. In doing so, we avoid acknowledgment of our feelings, and bar ourselves from mourning that which seems unworthy.
Avoidance is understandable. Grief is unpleasant. Fixing things is a solution-focused coping mechanism that works most of the time. However, when something is different, it means that something is gone. That thing generally won't return, and if it does it will never be like we knew it before. For this reason it's important that we allow ourselves time, even if just briefly, to mourn what has past before jumping to what will come.
After all, the one thing you can always count on is that things will change.
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