My "Special" Little Project

Location: Work/Home
Mood: artistic


So, one of my jobs is super boring. I sit in a room for 8 hours and wait for someone to bring their kid for me to look after. Right now there’s only one baby living there, and so I’m usually just sitting around. It is so boring it hurts my head, and I’ve been looking for something to do.

If you are a devoted Mindy-blog reader (and why wouldn’t you be?), then you know that I was toying with the idea of writing a book. I have decided to alleviate my work-time boredom by doing just that. I drew out a time line, and some character descriptions, and then I got kind of excited. It looks like I’m really doing this. Here’s hoping I get famous.

In all actuality it is kind of stupid. It’s about some teenagers (15-16 years-old). I haven’t fleshed out the main character, because I’m hoping that she’ll reveal herself to me in the process. I can’t decide if her name is Kathyrn Louise (friends call her Katie) or Margaret Louise (friends call her Maggie). I don’t know why I settled on Louise, but I did.

Anyway, that’s not what I was meaning to write about. This girl Katie/Maggie thinks her heart is broken at the beginning of the book (teenage romance). She doesn’t have many friends she’s close to, but a few of them band together to pull her out of her funk. In this she grows really close with one girl (a slightly shallow, but still caring girl named Vick) and develops deep feelings for another boy (yet unnamed). She and unnamed boy actually fall deeply in love. This is the real thing. It’s deep-seated and strong. Well, one day unnamed boy breaks up with her inexplicably. Poor Katie/Maggie, but she’s stubborn and refuses to believe that he didn’t feel the same way for her (because he did). Unnamed boy starts acting weird, and Katie/Maggie suspects foul play. She is determined to get to the root of it.

This is the part I haven’t really worked out yet. I’m not sure if unnamed boy (he really needs a name), is in a cult or if there’s something magical and mysterious that makes him do a 180°. I’ll get there. Also, I think that her boyfriend, from the beginning, Dean Greggor, is going to come back (as a friend) and help her solve the mystery. Dean is a super curious guy, and he likes figuring things out.

Wow, that was longer than what I thought it was going to be. The reason why I’m writing this at all is because I’ll probably want people to read it and give me their opinions and stuff. It’s a process, and I can’t be very objective about my own writing. So, if you are at all interested in reading my “special” little story, let me know. I’d love the help.

My Love Life

Location: EVERYWHERE
Mood: worried
Music: I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

People, I am facing serious issues here…

SERIOUS…

My cute-detector is broken.

What is a cute-detector? you ask. (Good question!) A cute-detector is a piece of you (I’m unclear as to whether it’s in your brain or if it’s otherwise physiological) that tells you approximately how attractive someone is.

This is a serious problem that has the potential to cause some intense predicaments. It has been so long since I have dated anyone, since I’ve flirted, since I’ve had any kind of attention in anyway that I am now broken! I can’t tell if people are cute. It started out slowly. I just got excited over smiles from moderately attractive people. Now, its traumatic. My heart flutters when uggos even look in my general direction.

The other day I was hanging out with a friend, and a guy drove past us. I said, “he looks like he could be cute.” He parked his car, and got out. I’m not kidding here, he was Shamu’s first born.

Did I mention that this is a problem?

It’s gotten so bad that I’m starting to wonder about my age-detector. An age-detector, for those of you who couldn’t figure it out (seriously?), is the part of you that can detect approximately what age a person is. If this detector goes, then I am screwed. I’m genuinely worried that I’m going to go a little crazy over a 14 year old. Maybe I should start asking guys if they have their learners’ permits before I talk to them.

The biggest concern over this new development is I am a prime target for a 14 year old boy’s affection! Look at me! I look like I’m 14 myself. These boys look at me, assume I’m their age but with boobs, and they go wild.

I realize that this could be evolution's way of having my back. It’s like nature is telling me that it’s been so long since I’ve had any attention that I need to lower my standards and increase my odds. However, if my age-detector goes I’m in trouble.

I REPEAT:
THIS IS.
A.
PROBLEM!!!!

I need some attention. Anyone know any moderately attractive guys I can flirt with? I just need someone to pay attention to me for a little bit. If this doesn’t get resolve, next time you see me I’ll be driving my fat new boyfriend to the winter formal.

I Don't Know, I'm Not Proud of It, Please Stop Asking Me

Location: Alpenrose Velodrome.
Mood: tired


I went to an event that my parents put on each year. It isn’t really an event. Basically before the beginning of each track (velodrome) season, they have everyone come out and help them clean up and repaint the track. The weather was supposed to be nice, so I figured I’d go. Who knows, maybe I’d manage to wrangle myself a boyfriend.

As usual, everyone that knows me wants to know what I’m doing with my life these days. I’m still looking for a career, but I think even if I’d found one I would be sick and tired of being asked about it. It’s like when you hurt yourself. As soon as people see a cast it’s all they want to talk to you about, and you get irritated with telling and re-telling what happened to you. But, I haven’t found a career. I’ve got a job, and I’m still looking. I live at home with my Mommy and Daddy. Thank you very much.

I know that people mean well. I know that they are just trying to strike up conversation. I’m not too upset with them, but put yourself in my shoes. I feel like I should be wearing a sandwich board that reads:

“Hi, How are you? I’m alright Oh, I’m still looking (for a job). I’ve put in over 600 applications since June. I have a part time job making $9.50/hour. Putting that Bachelor’s to good use.  Yes the economy sucks right now. No I don’t really want to hear your personal take on the economy, but you’re going to tell me anyway so I’ll listen.  I live with my parents. I’m ready to move out. To save us some awkwardness, I’m going to look for a reasonable excuse to exit this conversation now. It was nice talking to you. Peace.”

Okay, it would have to be a rather large sandwich board, and I’m a small person. But I think it would save us all a lot of trouble.

1 comment

Nicole Pexton wrote
at 9:37pm April 19th, 2009

Yes! I have been known to run and hide from people who might have this conversation with me in public places.

What happened to talking about the weather?

New Jobs

Location: Work
Mood: annoyed

I hate new jobs. Can’t stand them. I wish it were possible to start a new job at the “I’ve worked here for over a year” point. I always feel like an idiot when I start a new job. Even when the job is really simple. Every job has it’s own way of doing things, and you always need to ask how to do things. For instance, I worked retail. My first day on the job they asked me to fold some shirts. I asked them how to fold the shirts. They looked at me like I was a moron. I’m not stupid. I know HOW to fold shirts, but I assumed that they had a specific way they wanted me to fold the shirts. They did.

This new job that I’m working is no exception. It is a bit worse actually. Whenever I work I’m by myself. It’s usually pretty boring. However, occasionally there is something I need to do or a question I need to answer, and I don’t know how to do it, what the answer is, or who to ask. I just feel dumb. The worst part is, the residents  look at me like I know what I’m doing. Then, when I don’t know what to do they seem to react as though I don’t know anything at all.

It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m ready to reach the point where I actually know what I’m doing.

Oh, did I mention that the woman who trained (and continues to train me through notes) barely speaks English? I don’t speak Russian, so it’s all a bit confusing.

Parents Pay Attention

Location: Stark St. Cinemas
Mood: Astounded

I went to see Coraline with my mom today. I’m not sure how I felt about it. It definitely wasn’t bad, but that doesn’t tell me whether I liked it or not.

As I’m sitting there watching this movie, there is a mom and her three children sitting behind me. One or two of her kids kept saying to her “Mommy I’m scared.” This little boy asked to leave multiple times, and the woman just kept telling him that the film was just a dream. She told her kids to close their eyes for the scary parts, and it would go away.

I imagined watching the movie as a small child. I would have been scared witless too. I feel your pain kids! It wasn’t the scariest movie that I had ever seen, but I can totally understand how kids would be scared. Hell, as a kid I was petrified by Ernest P. Worrell (still am a bit)!

This reminded me of something that bothers me about the human condition. There is a tendency among people to see cartoons (or other things traditionally thought of as for kids) and assume that they are kid-friendly. This bothers me. Just because something is animated does not mean that it is for children! For gods’ sake there is cartoon porn! Every now and then an animated film comes out, and it is entirely intended for adults.

When I worked at the movie theater a movie called Monster House came out. This film was most likely aimed at older kids and tweens. It was a movie about a haunted house. People took their small children to this movie and then left in large numbers. They would ask for their money back, and often they would be upset with us for not warning them. Open your eyes people! The previews give you all you need to know.

Why are parents not paying attention to these things. If you watch the preview for Coraline you know instantly that this is a dark film. The preview made me a little uneasy. I leaned over to my friend and said “that looks kind of scary.” I did not think “I wonder if I can drag a small child along to torture when I go see it.”

What especially astounds me is not that parents aren’t paying attention to the clues, however that is bothersome, but that they become upset with the people who support the movie. No one is really trying to trick you people. If you opened your eyes you’d notice that all of the warnings were there. In the Coraline preview the “other mother” is a woman with buttons for eyes, and she morphs into a scary witch person, she yells at Coraline, and threatens to take her eyes out! Monster house is about a HAUNTED house that tries to eat the children in the neighborhood!

The movie that sticks out in my mind most of all is Bad Santa. Yeah, people took their kids to this R rated movie. As employees at the theater we were told to warn everyone who bought tickets. We actually had to make sure people buying tickets were aware of the rating. You’d be surprised how many people stood there with their kids, heard us say “you know this movie is rated R for explicit language, violence, and sexual content,” and buy tickets anyway. Then they left early and demanded their money back like it was our fault! No one tried to trick you into stealing the innocence of your children. The movie is called BAD Santa, it is rated R, it starred Billy Bob Thorton, and the minimum wage teenage box office attendant recommended AGAINST taking your kids. How much more obvious could it get? I’m sorry, but it’s your own damn fault your stupid.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is that people need to pay more attention. ESPECIALLY if you have kids. When I have kids, I’m not going to shelter them at all, but I’m not going to ignore all warnings and blindly walk my kids into an x-rated film just because it’s a cartoon with teddy bears and talking kittens either.

2 comments


Monica Heistand wrote at 6:45pm March 8th, 2009

I love your blogs mindy...so very true!!

Mindy Murray wrote at 1:01pm March 9th, 2009

Aww, Mon. I love that you love my blogs. Makes me feel relevant. ;)

A Pre-Dream Curiousity

Location: Home
Mood: contemplative

I dated this guy once. It was sometime ago. I was in a pretty dark place when he came into my life. I knew him before that, but I had never really seen him. I was really down and he came along and sort of saved me from myself. I didn’t see it happening at first, but then there he was.

I guess it started out slowly. He would compliment me. Not vague niceties, but genuine praise that expressed utter amazement with my existence. Then I got sick. Really sick. And there he was again. He brought me things, and not the usual soup or well wishes. He brought specific things I had mentioned in passing. He listened to me. He talked to me. He even did things for me. Then, there was the way he looked at me. It was like I was the reason he got up in the morning, and I just didn’t know it yet.

Eventually, I started to realize what was right in front of me. I started to appreciate him, and then something amazing happened. I saw him. He wasn’t just some guy. He was everything.

In the beginning everything was good. It was that perfect combination of actually being with someone and wishing you could be with them more. I couldn’t wait to see him or talk to him. When I saw him, my stomach did somersaults. I could hardly believe it each time we kissed. The best part: He was just as infatuated with me. We were excited to be with one another. When we met eyes it was as though I was the dessert he’d been craving all his life.

We were together for quite a while, but (as good things often do) it went bad. Eventually, it ended horribly. It wasn’t quick, and it definitely wasn’t painless. It was this monumental event that left me bitter, angry, and cracked.

I don’t think of this relationship often, but when I do it’s always of the brutal end. It’s invariably with a degree of disappointment that I fell for him, and a level of hatred that it ever occurred at all. However, tonight the strangest thing happened. Exhausted from my day, I laid down to sleep and my mind wandered to this relationship.

Then I smiled.

I remembered the beginning of this relationship, and how deeply we felt for one another. I remembered the moments before we were together when he had told me I was beautiful. I thought of how ecstatic I was to see him each day. I remembered the goofy games we used to play, and how he made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered. I remembered the gifts he gave me, and all the little things we’d do for one another.

It’s weird how easily we forget things that were once so great. It’s also strange when they pop back into our mind.

Um, Wow

Location: Salem
Mood: aggravated

I had an interview today. It’s not the first interview since my last installment, but it’s the first worth saying anything about. (The last went okay).

This is for a professional therapeutic company that shall remain nameless. I applied for some open positions that I found online. I got VERY LITTLE information about the position and the company. However, my application for a Residential Counselor got pushed through, and I was asked to come in and meet with the associate director (a woman named Tami). I set up the interview a week ahead of time. Then I attempted to learn what I could about the organization in order to prepare myself.

I couldn’t find anything.

So, at this point I’m thinking this interview could go several different ways. It could be a residential counselor for nutbars, or it could be really interesting and not at all scary. It could be a glorified ass-wiper, or it could be just what I need. No idea.

I wake up this morning, and I have a freaking rash on my face! It was around my mouth (and no I didn’t do anything pervy to get it), so it’s right where you can’t hide it and the interviewer is going to be looking. So, that’s a great start to my day. I’m already apprehensive about what this job even is, and now I’ve got rash-mouth. I’m thinking I’m going to be SUPER impressive (in case you can’t tell, I’m being SARCASTIC).

The interview is in Salem, so I left two hours early. This gives me about 45 minutes to get lost and find the place. On the way down I thought I was getting pulled over two different times. Luckily I only THOUGHT I was getting pulled over, and the cops drove right past me. I’ve never been pulled over though, and this causes my heart rate to sky rocket. So, I’m nervous and freaking out.

When I arrive in Salem, Gloria PeuterSchmidt decides to go all weirdo on me and tell me to turn left when she clearly meant right...twice. When I finally got myself in the right direction (I’m not even sure how I figured out that she was tricking me), I drove right past a gas station and she says “You have arrived.”....
...
...
At a gas station? Um, Gloria, no way in hell did I just drive down to Salem to interview at a freaking Arco! Of course, this is an area of town that is one-way streets only. So, I wind up driving around the block about 1500 times. Finally I decide to call the place. So I pull over and look at my notes to get the phone number.

Yeah, I didn’t write a number down (let this be a lesson to anyone who ever finds themselves in my position). It’s now 12:55 and my interview is at 1pm. I know I have some email correspondences with a woman who works here. So I call home to have someone check my email for me.

No answer.
I call my mom’s cell phone.
No answer.
Dad, no answer. Sean’s out delivering food for the YMCA or something.

I tried calling my sister, but I thought this was a long shot because she never answers her phone. One ring later Amber answers her phone! She’s sitting at her computer! So she logs into my G-mail, finds out I’m at the right place, and gets the number for me. THANK GOD FOR AMBER!!!

Turns out Gloria kept telling me the building was on the right hand side of the road when it was actually on the left. Needless to say, Gloria and I are not exactly speaking right now.

I got there at 5 after 1, and had a nice little chat with the receptionist. Then two guys come to get me. I guess I’m not interviewing with this Tami woman. I’m interviewing with two guys, and one of them is VERY attractive.

So, here I am at this interview for a job I know nothing about, sitting across from a full on hotty, and I’ve got a freaking rash on my face!

They tell me about the job. I guess it involves helping sexually aggressive males. Yikes! Now I’m thoroughly frightened, but I listen hoping it gets better. It does, but not much. The pay is VERY little considering what they ask of you. If I’m offered it, I’ll probably have to turn it down because the pay doesn’t justify relocating to Salem.

One of these days I’ll find the perfect job.

People are Weird

Mood: tired

Why don’t people just say what’s on their minds? I think it’s fascinating. We always beat around the bush. We try to have people guess what our meaning is, and we often avoid directly telling people what we actually think.

I’m not immune to this. I just wonder why we are like this? Wouldn’t it just be easier if everyone was clear about what they want/need/felt? I think it would. Sure, occasionally there would be hurt feelings. However, I am not convinced that there would be more hurt feelings than there are now.

When we meet people we’re attracted to, wouldn’t it just make things easier if we could just tell them. “Hi, I’m Mindy, and you are hot. I think I may have a crush on you.” This SOUNDS great. I will probably never be able to do it. It sounds so great though. I would love to meet someone and have him say that to me. Even if I didn’t feel the same way about that person. It would just be nice to know upfront.

This doesn’t just apply to romantic situations. It would be so nice if you could just tell someone that they were bugging you. I mean, I know you CAN do this, but it’s rude. It would be so nice to just be able to say to someone “you’re getting on my nerves right now, and I’d rather you just left me alone.” At least that way you know where you stand with people.

People are weird creatures. Why do we operate contrary to common sense? I think it is so compelling

How We Learn

Location: home
Mood: calm

I’m reading this book (My Ishmael), and the part I’ve just read through brought up some interesting arguments. Very pertinent to my life.

The way we teach people is kind of screwed up. We put people through 12-14 years of classes that teach them all kinds of theories and philosophies that may be helpful when they graduate and enter the job market. When they do exactly that, they have absolutely no experience. They have all kinds of theories and ideas floating around in their heads, but they have no practical knowledge or experience.

For thousands and thousands of years people have learned by seeing. We learn how to talk by being around others who talk. We hear their words, and figure out for ourselves how to use them. The same thing goes for walking, reading, and interacting with one another. So, how come at some point we decide to ship kids off to facilities where they sit in a desk and stare at someone who merely explains things to them?

I’m not saying that I think people shouldn’t go to school, but I am saying that schools should reevaluate their practices. You can’t merely explain complicated procedures to people and expect them to be able to do them. You can’t just tell someone how to solve for x, and expect them to be able to do it under any and all circumstances.

I think that the way we teach math proves my point. Math teachers do more than just explain the theory of algebra. They show you. They do a countless number of problems on the white-erase board, or on an overhead projector. They give their students problems to try on their own. Then, when their students still need help, math teachers do the problems with them thus helping them to see how they are done.

With all this evidence around that shows us how we learn, why do we continue to teach the way we do? Whether they know it or not, people don’t believe it works either. Certain jobs require you to have certain degrees. Many require a bachelor’s degree, but when you finally receive that degree you have no more knowledge about how to perform that job. People clearly don’t believe this process works. This is proved by the fact that the people who do the hiring normally pass over the fully qualified applicants in favor of those who have experience.

Whether we are aware of it or not, we prefer to employ people who have seen and done the work.

Why does the system work the way it does? Education should involve practical experience. Also, I think that employers should provide training for new employees that includes SHOWING them what to do. Sometimes these things are done, but most of the time they aren’t. What’s the point in continuing a process that doesn’t work?

Mysterious Interview

I had an interview today. If I’m being totally honest, it was a job I didn’t want in the first place. It was working for a facility that cares for adults with developmental disabilities, and I was worried that I was going to be a professional ass-wiper. Harsh, but true. Did you know that people who do that usually make minimum wage?!

Anyhow, the interview is at 10am. It’s 15 minutes (maximum) from my house. I leave as half hour early.

Armed with my new best friend Gloria PeuterSchmidt, I can find anywhere in the world! Or so I thought.

The place doesn’t exist. I spoke with someone on the phone, they gave me this address. I looked it up before I left. Same address. I drove to the location of this address, and no facility exists there.

There was a business complex where this place should have been. So, I entered the complex, and drove around under the assumption that one of the tenants was this facility...nope. Nothing.

I called them. No answer.

Now I’m curious.