One of my Christmas presents was a best friend. I have named her Gloria PeuterSchmidt. She is this woman who speaks in a very calming manner. Her entire reason for existence is to sit on my dash and guide me to my destinations.
Gloria knows everything about roads, maps, and getting places. She’s amazing! I just give her a few details, and, almost instantly, she can tell me how to get to where I need to be. If there’s a road closure, or I miss a turn it’s not a problem. Gloria just quickly figures out how to get myself back on track. She’s not married to any particular route. Glo goes with the flow.
The other day I met a friend for dinner, and it required me to cross the Morrison bridge. Apparently I am directionally impaired, because I somehow managed to cross and recross the Morrison bridge three times before I found a place to park. Most people would begin to get frustrated with that. Not Gloria. Each time she just calmly reassessed the area and told me how to get back to The Rock Bottom Brewery (my destination). Her directions were never unreasonable either.
Like most friends, my relationship with Gloria has its drawbacks. When Gloria has something to do she demands my attention. She speaks at a constant volume. She can change her volume, but not depending on the circumstances. Also, when Gloria wants it, she demands your attention. It doesn’t matter to her if I’m on the phone or not, she is going to say what she’s got to say.
The other day I was at the Starbucks drive-through. This confused Gloria because it wasn’t on any road she was aware of (it was in a parking lot). While I was making my order Gloria says rather loudly “Whenever possible, make a legal U-turn.” This confused the person taking my order, but Gloria didn’t care.
As you can see, we have some things we need to work through. Gloria is not without quirks. She thinks that Richey is pronounced “Jew-gee,” and there’s no reasoning with her when she’s made up her mind. However, I’m pretty sure that Gloria PeuterSchmidt is my new best friend.
I love you GPS.
Gloria knows everything about roads, maps, and getting places. She’s amazing! I just give her a few details, and, almost instantly, she can tell me how to get to where I need to be. If there’s a road closure, or I miss a turn it’s not a problem. Gloria just quickly figures out how to get myself back on track. She’s not married to any particular route. Glo goes with the flow.
The other day I met a friend for dinner, and it required me to cross the Morrison bridge. Apparently I am directionally impaired, because I somehow managed to cross and recross the Morrison bridge three times before I found a place to park. Most people would begin to get frustrated with that. Not Gloria. Each time she just calmly reassessed the area and told me how to get back to The Rock Bottom Brewery (my destination). Her directions were never unreasonable either.
Like most friends, my relationship with Gloria has its drawbacks. When Gloria has something to do she demands my attention. She speaks at a constant volume. She can change her volume, but not depending on the circumstances. Also, when Gloria wants it, she demands your attention. It doesn’t matter to her if I’m on the phone or not, she is going to say what she’s got to say.
The other day I was at the Starbucks drive-through. This confused Gloria because it wasn’t on any road she was aware of (it was in a parking lot). While I was making my order Gloria says rather loudly “Whenever possible, make a legal U-turn.” This confused the person taking my order, but Gloria didn’t care.
As you can see, we have some things we need to work through. Gloria is not without quirks. She thinks that Richey is pronounced “Jew-gee,” and there’s no reasoning with her when she’s made up her mind. However, I’m pretty sure that Gloria PeuterSchmidt is my new best friend.
I love you GPS.
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