Mood: Anxious
I feel like I should talk about my apocalypse anxieties. It's a little humorous that I think about this, but even more hilarious that I even care. Keep in mind, that my opinion on this subject is the exact opposite from my pyschological response. I honestly think it's a bunch of hooey, but it still makes me nervous, and that's comical.
I first began to consider the end of the world about 5 years ago. I was at my then boyfriend's house watching a history channel special about the year 2012. You guys, it freaked me out. Something about the number and variety of sources that agree upon a date in time as the prophesied END is what really throws me. Normally, I think people are crazy when they talk about these things, but for some reason this time around it actually caused a physiological response. My heart began to pound, and I got super nervous. I thought,
"2012, but that's...like...soon..."
Then, I couldn't sleep.Granted, it's pretty normal for me to have bouts of insomnia, but to struggle with sleep because I'm worried that the world will end...that ain't right. So, I did what any logical person does when stressed over an absurd concern about an unlikely event you can't control: I went online.
That didn't help.At this point I figured it'd be best to just stop thinking about it; start endorsing those avoidant tendencies which have served me so well in the past.
Then, the movie trailer came out. I can NOT watch this trailer. The first time I saw it, my heart about leapt out of my chest, my breathing sped up, and I kept thinking, "this is it. It's real now." The trailer made it's way on to TV, and appeared on the commercial break for several of my favorite shows. When this happened, I would run across the room and lunge to turn my TV off before it caused nervous laughter and attempts to bottle my concern.
I just can NOT deal.Then the damn books started to show up on display at my favorite book store. I don't care if it's a best seller! Stop forcing me to deal with it. I had to avoid the back right corner of the store for three months.
I'm told that this past weekend was the rapture. I'm not religious at all, and I don't entirely understand the whole rapture/judgement thing. However, the timing of it spikes my anxiety. I felt a whole lot better when I "survived it."
Except now... it's being postponed until October?What the what?! Can you even do that?! Who is making these decisions? Do they understand that they're wigging me out?
Honestly, I'm doing pretty well with my avoidance here, but the calendar keeps changing, and pretty soon the time will be upon us. I'm not sure how I'll respond, but I'm picturing fetal position, under a table clutching my head (earthquake drill style) until the morning. At which point, I'll cautiously step out and survey the unchanged world, embarrassed that I just wasted an entire day acting like a fool.
While reading this I couldn't help but laugh because I have had similar responses to both the 2012 thing, and then even the rapture. I won't ever see the 2012 move and even though I think it is all bogus too, it still freaks me out. Instead of running towards the television, I would cover my ears and close my eyes saying "lalalalalala" until the commercial was over. But, your knowledge of the whole 2012 situation is probably better than mine because of the television special that you watched. I just think that the Mayans eventually died out, so eventually the last one stopped writing the calendar.
ReplyDeleteAlso, rapture, I am not religious either, but it kinda freaked me out. But that a little less than the end of the world.