The Key

Image found here, but go here to fully appreciate it in all it's glory

I suck at reading maps.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm willing to bet it's related to my obvious deficits in spacial reasoning.  I struggle with determining my actual distance to objects around me. So, it seems fair to assume this difficulty would translate to my theoretical representation of self in relationship to my surroundings. Though understanding possible causes for this deficiency does not help me overcome it.

I am a fairly intelligent young woman. I can analyze complicated scenarios and make cognitive leaps that many find difficult. I have historically excelled in mathematics, scientific reasoning, and mental puzzles. Yet, graphic depictions of the world boggle my mind.

With minimal frame of reference, I balk at determining things as simple as mere orientation. If not pre-ordained, I take comedic lengths of time scrunching my face and flipping pages rapidly in an attempt to make the image reflect my environment. Fixated images alleviate some confusion. However, I'm ashamed to admit that, on numerous occasions, I have found myself stuck before event kiosks as throngs of other patrons come and go having quickly identified their locations and destinations. Keenly aware of my difficulty I flush with embarrassment as I become overwhelmed with seemingly indecipherable information.

I've gotten better over the years, but still I find myself bested by geography more than I should. There's just so much to take in that, sometimes it is too difficult for me to even find myself. Where I have been and where I am going get tangled up in a mess of confusing lines and symbols. I start with knowledge of where I began, but I quickly forget it as I twist the image in a desperate search for my goals. I lose my location as I try repeatedly to come at it from different angles. Often, I wind up more lost than when I began.

This has been a lifelong battle that has frequently left me distraught. Frustrated with my uncharacteristic ineptitude, I have resorted to drastic measures to right myself and regain my barrings. This has included law-breaking turns, humiliatingly emotional please for assistance from anyone who would listen, and rather bleak self-talk. At times, my circumstances have seemed incredibly hopeless. That is, until three beautiful little words remind me of something too easily forgotten

You are here.