Awesome Conversations with Children

So, you may or may not know that I work with children. Most of the kids I work with have had some pretty traumatic/hard lives. However, that does not make them any less insightful or fun. They have said some completely amazing things to me over the last few months, and I decided to start documenting them. Due to confidentiality reasons I can't give much information, but I thought that people might enjoy what little I could share. I've had some really rather humorous conversations with these little tykes.

Before I share them with you I should probably put in a little disclaimer. None of these conversations represent my own opinions or ideas. I take no responsibility for any offense that may come from the ramblings of these children. Besides, they're just kids people. Lighten up.

J. Boy age 7
J: I've been to Mars.
Me: Really? What's it like there?
J: Red
Me: Makes sense.
J: And they speak Chinese.
Me: Oh, I had no idea.
J: Yeah, this one time I called them up, and I was like, 'ching chang cho.;
Me: What does that mean?
J: I don't know. I don't speak Chinese.

boy Age 8
You know, Venus is a lot like New York.

J. boy Age 5
J: How old are you?
Me: How old do you think I am?
J: 8?
Me: No, I'm older than 8.
J: 3,000?
Me: No. I'm younger than 3,000.
J: Will you just tell me?
Me: I'm 23.
J: WOAH! You should be bigger!

boy Age 8
The three rules of the sea:
1. No eating other fish, unless they attack you or swim away.
2. Always obey the law.
3. No messing with Spiderman.

D. boy age 5
D: This dragon breathes fire and ice cream.
Me: Doesn't that melt the ice cream?
D: No. Because, sometimes you have to cook ice cream first.

J. boy age 5
Me: That's a really big green bean you have!
J: It's not bigger than this town though.

E. boy age 3
Me: What do those carrots taste like?
E: Umm...green.

boy age 4
My doughnut tasted like Spiderman.

M. boy age 5
M: I like sharks, but not real ones. They bite you. Swordfish hurt you too.
Me: I didn't know that.
M: Yeah well they have a poky nose.

boy age 4
I don't want to play with you. I want to play with a human.

boy age 4 (Reactive Attachment Disorder)
I don't know how to like you.

girl age 7
You want a piece of me? Let's go butthole.

M. boy age 4
Me: Where were you yesterday?
M: I'm batman. I was flying around.

K. boy age 5
Me: What did you draw?
K: That's me in my mommy's tummy. It's boring there.

A. boy age 5
A (to another kid): Please stop looking at me.
Me: She's not looking at you. She's just looking around the room. Does it feel like she's looking at you?
A: Yeah, it's cuz she thinks I'm a robot.

A. boy age 5
A: Knock, Knock!
L: Who's there?
A: Please to meet you!
L: Please to meet you who?
A: um...pants on head!

M. boy age 4
I don't want to hurt people, but sometimes I do and I don't know why.

Admittedly I have gotten really bad at remembering these little bits of awesomeness that children offer me. As the last few entries may indicate, my memory has gravitated toward the more disturbing quotes of late. I have been saving this draft for a while. I began it a year ago before I started regular work with maltreated kids. I've added to it over the months, but not for some time. Rereading it has reminded me that kids have remarkable, and often enjoyable insight. I think it's important to consider that every now and then. Enjoy your kids people.