Salt, Fire, Underpants. Is this for real?

Location: My Apartment
Mood: Bemused

Let's talk about my day. But let's start first with a rundown of my week. My ENT thinks I have Meniere's, and he wants me to try cutting salt out of my diet.

We hate my ENT right now. Salt is delicious. Salt is everywhere, and in all things that are amazing. As a result: I'm starving. I can't eat anything I like, so I've lost nearly five pounds. However, the one good thing here, is that my ENT recommended that I do a low salt diet for a few days, and then try to eat a bunch of salty foods to see how I react. My all-knowing father, doesn't think one attempt at this is enough to prove the diagnosis. This has led me to instituting Sodium Sundays!

I woke up this morning knowing that I'm going to gorge myself on deliciousness, and it's going to be wholly unhealthy. I thought to myself, "I'll be a good little girl and go for a run." Usually on my run, I can run for just about a mile, then I have to stop and walk for a few minutes before I run some more. Given that I'm down in poundage, and up in healthy food, I assume I'll be able to run longer. WRONG. I can run barely two blocks. Do I turn around and go home? No. I decide to keep going at my approximately two block intervals of running. And It. is. AWFUL. It's cold. I'm exhausted. My legs feel like led. Just when I decide that I hate it for real, but I'm going to stick it out...it starts to rain. Icy, freezing, skin-stinging rain. So, I take an abrupt left and head for home.

When I get home I decide to prepare myself for the day, and go get nachos at a local restaurant. After showering, I blow dry my hair. For some reason it poofs out into what can only be described as a Caucasian afro. But, I don't really know anyone, and I'm starving. So I decide to wear my afro with pride. I bring my kindle along, and prepare for salty-delectability. The nachos do not disappoint, but my kindle does. The battery suddenly goes dead, and I'm left alone at my table staring at those around me. Do I go home? Eh.  I'm okay. I'll stick it out.

When I get home I put on the last month's worth of 30 Rock, and set forth to do some house cleaning. However, just as I'm starting the second episode, the fire alarm goes off. This is the second time this week, and I'm starting to get irritated, but like I've always been trained, I evacuate (not without grabbing my coat and purse first).

Outside, I complain to a neighbor who missed the alarm from last Thursday evening. I tell her about how she can expect to see the fire engine in about five minutes, and it'll come slowly down the streets with only lights on. Then the firemen will get out one at a time in their sweatshirts, and slowly walk into the building. As I'm describing how relaxed the whole thing will be, a fire engine comes roaring down the street with lights and sirens. It stops abruptly. Three firemen run out in their coats and hats, and into the building. Another firefighter quickly unravels the hose and attaches it to the building. I eat my words, as a second fire engine comes up from the other direction, and three fire fighters peel out in full fire-gear.

Now I'm nervous. So, I do what any full grown adult does in this situation. I call my mommy. I explain to her about how there are two fire engines, but as I'm saying that another one rolls up along with a battalion chief SUV. Then a fourth fire engine rolls in on the cross street, and a second SUV, but all their occupants seem rather relaxed. They're still in full garb, but their coats are opened, and their walking over to one another and chatting. Neat. A firefighter reunion on my block. Eventually we all learn that an 87 year old woman on the second floor had some stove top difficulty that resulted in a couple charred pots and pans. They let us go back in.

The rest of my day is relatively normal, despite the BBQ smoke smell in and around the building. I ended it by going to McMenamins for some Cajun tots with a friend. I devoured almost the whole order by myself. Then I got home and realized that I've been wearing my underwear on inside-out all day, and I thought "that seems about right."