Mood: sad
On Friday, the world population had a game-changing experience. Our planet moved, and reminded us just how precariously placed our existence is.
For those of you who are completely oblivious, I'm talking about the 8.9 earthquake, and subsequent 20 ft tsunami in Japan. I've had a number of reactions to it. Initially my reaction was one of "holey-shit" proportions. I then clutched the news with all my might, and used it to help ease my own anxieties about a Grad School interview. Hearing about this event helped me to put things into perspective. Yes, getting my masters is important, but, in the grand scheme of things, a failure to achieve acceptance is less than that. Surprisingly, listening to the radio talk about the frighteningly massive waves that were headed for my state, helped me to relax. Instead of thinking that botching this experience would be the worst thing ever, I thought "this isn't so bad."
Later, I breathed a sigh of relief as most of Oregon classified the experience as "a drill." As my own stress eased, I took a less egotistical look at the catastrophe. I turned my gaze on the news (or lack thereof) coming from Japan. I found images of a real life whirlpool, and heard news of missing trains that undoubtedly carried the hundreds of geographic sight-seers to the bottom of the ocean in a suffocatingly sealed metal box. The death toll numbers being reported continue to be terrifying. Surely, no one event could wipe out that many lives? But it has, and entire cities have lost contact with the rest of the planet. Then I learned of the nuclear reactors that are posing a new threat to society. Now, I can't not think about it.
Historically, I've had my battles with anxiety and overly-worrisome thought processes. Things like this don't help. Sure, it puts my normal every day concerns into perspective, but it also reminds me just how much there is to be terrified of.
All my life I've heard about how the Pacific Northwest is overdue for "the big one." This has just been something I've heard and known about. I've never given it too much thought, because to really consider it is overwhelming. I always knew it would be bad, but watching the Japanese quake and the fallout from afar, has been alarming. I can't help but feel like I'm walking on a tight-rope that could at any moment give way. The earth has become this menacing demon looming over us. I place Us on a metaphorical web with a starving carnivorous spider nearing. I look around at all the potentially awful ways to be destroyed, and my heart pounds faster.
I have always loved the scenery of my home, and spent a day this weekend reveling in an experience that brings me back to my childhood. I ventured up my mountain, and quietly rode the chair lift through enormous and beautiful evergreens. I peacefully skied down hills covered in thick and calming snow the day following an avalanche in a nearby area. I was overcome with how wonderfully pleasing the experience was, but also how potentially catastrophic it could be. At any moment, Nature, could take a turn. The wind could knock loose an avalanche, and pull me down with it. A tree could reach it's lifespan, and fall across the chords that pull me further up the active volcano. The earth could open up and cover us all in molten hot magma.
I know I'm being a bit dramatic. However, I can't help but acknowledge how truly unsafe this world is, and how frighteningly it could come to an end at any moment.
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